In fear

"WHAT WAS THAT?" I yelled out in the middle of the night. Sweat was dripping down my chest. I was taking in deep breathes. All I could think about was the possibility of a murderer could be standing outside of my window, or maybe even outside the door to my apartment. 

This is my life. I live in fear of what could possibly happen to me. If a friend asks me go out to have a drink or go see a movie, I make up some lame excuse on how I cannot go. That was years ago though. I don't think a friend has asked me to go out in like three years. Why don't I go out? Well because I have lived my life in fear ever since I was a little child, and I was kidnapped by a stranger. So now, every time someone knocks on my door, or if I am out on the streets, I think that they are a murderer plotting a way to kill me. I mean you can't trust anyone can you? You don't know what they could be planning or doing.

I am also terrified of driving. I could be the safest driver in the world, but yet their could be a drunk-ass man out there driving and he could hit me a kill me like a little bug on a windshield. So what do I do right? I can't leave to go anywhere, well I don't leave actually at all unless I need food. I run an online store in my apartment, and I take online courses for college to advance my education further and further. I leave my apartment only for food, and only if it is absolutely necessary. I think the last time I left was about a month ago now. I stock up on canned goods, ramen noodles, and lots of food that can last awhile so I can buy in stock and not go out as often. 

My entertainment is just watching TV, movies on Netflix, and maybe some video gaming (I buy all my gadgets and thing on Amazon.com, so they are shipped straight to my door). Oh that's not always the best though because I do not trust the man that comes to the door. What if he is broke, depressed because his wife now wants a divorce, so he brought a gun to kill me and take all my money? God scary moment everything a delivery guy comes. I hate it.

You make think I am crazy right? I am not though. I want to live for a long time and not be killed, so I decided to live my life in fear. All of this because of that guy who kidnapped me when I was only 12 years old. Before that I used to go up to random people and say, "Hi, how are you today sir?" I used to go out with my friends, and be the life of the party . . . what has happened with my life? Isn't better to live life to it's fullest instead of living it in fear. I have no life instead of a life like every other human being out their. I sit at home all day and everyday sitting in front of a computer screen running a online store. 

There is a gun sitting on my night stand, and I say to myself, "Why not right? Do it Jessica, I don't have a life anyway!" So I pull the trigger and . . . . ring ring. . . . ring ring. . . Wait guns don't go ring ring right? 

My phone on my nightstand next to my bed it ringing and moving across the surface of the nightstand. I realize it was just dream, a dream of me realizing that my life is a piece of shit. I grab the phone and hit the green button. "Hello Jessica, this is Rachel. You probably don't remember me, but we used friends a long time ago. I was thinking about you today, and was wondering if maybe you wanted to catch a drink and catch up?" 

Oh my god it's Rachel I haven't talked to her in years. "Oh hey Rachel. Ummm . . . I was sleeping . . ." I pause, then say, "but yes I would love that. You know where that bar on Herman's Avenue is right?" I thought it was time I had started not living my life in fear, but living it to the fullest. 

This has been a fictional story by Noah Bitney 

The Mistakes

I told him to slow down, over and over again. I told him to stop passing cars. He was weaving in and out of each lane he was in. The last time I checked his speed before it had happened he was going about 100 miles an hour. I repeated myself even louder, "SLOW DOWN!" He of course didn't listen to me. Why would he? If I would have been a smart person I would, and should have told him to stop and let me out. Sure we were in the middle of nowhere, but I probably had a better chance with that than being with him. It was though already to late for that. It's all to late now.

My friend Bobby and I were heading home from a night out. Just us guys hanging out, doing guy stuff you know? Just having a little guy time. Well we had decided to take his truck to wherever we went. I think I remember us going out to a burger shop and maybe a little time for some shopping at a video game store. I am not sure what we were doing, all I can remember is the ride home. He was just speeding and speeding. He would slow down a little bit, but then pick up his speed again. If there was a car in front of him, and he would just go right around that car without any hesitation. Now you have to realize that we aren't on a freeway or a two lane, one way road. We were on a normal highway, where their are cars going in opposite directions. I was griping the JC (Jesus Christ) handle with all my might. I was sacred out of my wits.

Why didn't I tell him to let me out or soothing? Well it never occurred to me, but I guess there is no point dwelling on what has happened right? I can't change it no matter how much I want to. So anyway we were heading home, and we were about maybe 20 minutes away from my house, when my phone started humming in my pocket. So, I pull out my iPhone and see that my girlfriend, Rachel, is calling me. I pick it up say hello and hear her say,"Hey baby, where are you? I am at your house waiting for you. I thought we were going out?"

I had remembered but I thought I would make her wait for me for once. She used to always be late for me when I would go to pick her up. She would be out with her friends and such. "Oh I am on my way I should be their in about 15 minutes babe. Sorry."

She responds in a irritated tone, "Oh alright see you soon then?"

I say "Yes of course baby! I love you, you know that right?" But that was the last thing I heard and the last thing I said. All of a sudden their was this huge amount of pressure on my chest from my seatbelt. I was thrown forward. At this point I don't even know what the fuck had happened to my phone. I see glass shattering everywhere. Then I feel myself thrown to the side as the car slides on the blacktop towards a tree. I can barely see i, but it keeps getting closer and closer. Then all of a sudden darkness hits . . . .

My eyes open up. All I can see it white as I am looking up towards the sky. I hear some sirens and people screaming and saying, "Oh my god what happened here?" My entire body aches with complete and utter agony. Everything, every inch of my body burns with pain. My eyes start to focus I look down and see that my legs are smashed up, and bent the opposite way. I can start to feel the darkness coming again, but before it comes I see Rachel running towards me tears running down her face. . . .

That was the last thing I remember, and that was the last time I was alive. My name is Roger Kentin, and this is the story of how I died.

This is a fictional story created by Noah Mark Bitney.