"OH CRAP!"

My life is dedicated to the internet. I am a avid blogger (consiting of four blogs), I have 10,000 subscribers on my YouTube channel, on FaceBook all the time, and a huge tweeter on Twitter. My career is this. I make money from the ads on all of my blogs, my ads from FaceBook, and I work for a advertising company on the internet. I own a 27 inch iMac, 15 inch MacBook Pro, the lastest iPhone adn iPad, and another MacBook Air for personal use. My life has consisted of sitting in front of a computer screen all day. I blog and tweet about completely random things that people love. I make videos on YouTube that people just adore, and fine the funniest thing EVER. I enjoy doing it all too. I even enjoy doing my job online all of the time.

So today is May 7th, 2050, and I just got up and deciding to do my daily routine. Start up my iMac while I plug in my MacBook Air from last nights trip to the local cafe while I was doing some writing there. Then I go and turn the coffee maker on to start making my delicious cup of joe. Then I usually log into my iMac then boot up my MacBook Pro for some video recording later on. Then I go pour myself a cup of coffee, then I move sit in front of my iMac and check my stats from all of my blogs, videos on YouTube, and ads on FaceBook.

So today I was sitting in front of my iMac waiting for it to connect to the internet. Usually doesn't take this long, usually is already connected the second it is turn on. So I get up and check the router in the sink filled kitchen of my apartment. It sits on a little stool siting in the corner of the black walls, gathering dust from not being touched in the last six months. It says that I am connected, all the green little lights are lit up. I reach behind it to check that the plugins are all plugged in, and they are all in there right place. So I shut it off for thirty seconds, because that is usually what you are supposed to do when it isn't working I have been told in the past.

After the thirty seconds past, in which I accidentally drunk some rotten milk (was past it expiration date by like two weeks), I flipped the little switch on the back of the router. The little lights on the front lit up. So then I walked back through the living room, and into my work station to sit in my beautiful black leather chair in front of my iMac. I take a drink out of my mug, which reads "Technology equals ME," and wait for the iMac to pick up the wifi signal.

I sat there for literally five minutes waiting for it to connect. So then I decided I would try a couple things on the internet to try and get it to work. Nothing, so I wheeled (oh yeah this bitchn' chair has wheels) to my MacBook Pro to see if that got a connection. NOTHING. I pulled my iPhone out of my sweatpants pocket . . . . no internet connection. I ran into my room grabbed my iPad 2 off the nightstand . . . . NO INTERNET CONNECTION.

"Okay okay maybe there is something with my internet, I will call at nine o'clock to get some guy out here to get it right and then I will just have to put in a lot of time today," I told myself in a panicked tone. I looked over at the clock, 5:45. I usually get up at 5:15 every morning to get a blog in before my shower. Well to bad for that. So I go to the bathroom which is located right next to my living room. I open the cedar door to a blue walled bathroom, with a crappy toilet (a toilet is a toilet in my eyes), a porcelain sink, an overhead mirror cabinet (filled with all my shaving cream, razor, pills, and deodorant), and a huge bathtub shower. I strip down into my boxers and shave the five o'clock shadow off my face. You know id you make one simple mistake while shaving it could really hurt, well me being in a paranoia today already decided to cut my chin today. Well after the failed attempt at shaving I take my daily morning soak in the tub.

After my morning soak, I put on my clean pair of my gray sweatpants, and a bright white t-shirt. My day-to-day attire when I work. I look over at the clock sitting next to my big screen TV, and it read 6:30. Usually around this time I am taking my morning soak, then after that I go ahead and film some videos about me talking about the latest movie or TV show episode. Not today though so far, I went back and checked on the computer . . . still no internet connection . . . .

Eight o'clock finally rolled around and I decided I couldn't wait any longer, after five years of doing this continuously you start to go insane if you don't. I dialed the number for my local telephone company. It took seven rings before I finally got, "Hello Chicago's Finest Telephone company, we are really busy at the moment. Someone will be with you shortly . . . . please hold." Then I got elevator music, and some automated voice saying, "Your call is important to us," for like 30 minutes. The music stopped and a guy said, "I am extremely sorry for your long wait sir, how can I help you?"

"Oh thats fine, um I was wondering if I could have someone come out to look at my router or internet or someth-"

"Sir let me stop you right there. You obviously haven't turned on the news yet today. The internet around the globe has stopped working, no one knows why? No one know how? It just stopped working, globally. As of right now there isn't anything we can do. Thank you for your call though, good day," he interrupted, speaking quickly, and hanging up when he was done talking.

The only thing I could say in my matter of shock was, "OH CRAP!"

This has been a fictional story by Noah Mark Bitney